I Told you I'd Always be Here
by Mldmd
Summary: Where did Sam go after Behind the blue line? this is my take on what happened...


He walked up to the door and took a deep breath. His mind was screaming at him to just go back to the car turn around and go home, she was probably asleep and he shouldn't wake her. Yet he found himself ringing her door bell anyways. Before he could even register what he had just done the door cracked open and she stood there in a tank top and Jeans. _Well she was in jeans at least he hadn't woken her up._

"Sam" she breathed out his name, he can hear the smile in her voice but her eyes are full of worry. He looked away, it makes him want to laugh, she's worried about him, she's always worried about him. _Him _after all this time, after everything, all the crap he put her through, she worried about him. She had good reason to worry tonight he supposes, he always calls, doesn't know why but if he going to stop by he calls. Doesn't matter if he 5 minutes away and he know she home, he always calls to say he coming, but tonight he didn't call. Tonight he just drove didn't even really realize where he was going until he pulled off the highway and into her town. They stand there in silence he is not sure of what to say to her or where to start. He doesn't even know why he came, but he is here now and now that he is here and she standing in front of him there is no looking back.

"I know it's late I jus-"

"Rough day? her voice is soft full of understanding. His eyes lock with her crystal blue ones. He smiles; it's what he loves about their relationship he never needs to say anything she can figure out what is wrong without him having to voice it. She can read him like book, she knows him inside and out. He doesn't know why but for some reason he ok with that. Maybe it's the fact that it's a 2 way streak and he knows her better than anyone on earth. He knows her likes, her dislikes and most importantly he know when something's bothering the hell out of her. Just a quickly as the smile appeared it's gone replaced with a grim pained expression. _Rough day_ doesn't even begin to describe how the day went; Darren was the one subject he should have been able to reach, to have been able to help, because he understood what he was going through, His life had gone to hell when he lost Matt. _Matt his brown-haired brown-eyed amazing frie-_

"Yeah" He breathes out the words. His tone is almost broken the facade he put on is starting to crack and he not sure how much longer he can keep it together.

She steps aside to allow him entry into her home but he pause and just stares her up and down taking her all in. She gorgeous only an idiot would deny that. She got the prefect figure nice chest and ass and her face is flawless. He wouldn't say she was tall but wouldn't call her short either. Not to mention her long brown hair has a natural wave to it that his sister would kill for. She doesn't do much to her hair; she doesn't need to, it beautiful just like the rest of her.

"Sam?" This time her voice is concerned, Sam doesn't stare at her like that, he doesn't stare her up and down like most guys not unless something is really wrong.

Sure he did it the first time they met but God that was a life time ago nearly 8 years ago, before her and Sam were even partners hell before they were even on JTF2, _Sam like most guys had checked her out, but it was to be expected most guys didn't expect to see a girl in Special Forces basic training camp especially a girl like __**her**__. She was hit on constantly but she made it pretty clear to any guy willing to try that she was __**not **__here looking for a relationship. Sam had watched her from a far but never made a move to talk to her until Sargent Hastings had put Sam and her head to head against each other on the obstacle course. They Tied. When that was over he pulled them aside to tell them that out of everyone the 2 of them had the highest ranking long distance marksmen scores and would most likely be on assignment sooner than the others, In other words they were the best 2 snipers and they were impress and need their help. Once the Sargent had left Sam and turned to look at her and stared her up and down his boyish grin making an appearance on his face._

_"Ummm can I help you?"_

_"A Girl, who's a bad ass sniper, who's fast and a good fighter…." He said staring her up and down" not going to mess with that" _she smirked _Smart choice_

_"I'm Sam by the way"_

_"Jessica"_

* * *

"Sam?'

He didn't answer when she called his name instead he walked into the house pass her and into the living room and sat down on the couch. She followed him but didn't sit on the couch with him instead she stood behind him leaning on the door way out of his view. She wouldn't force him to talk, not if he didn't want to. Sam wiped his hands over his face and let out a shaky breath

"I was lead negotiator today" he stated Jessica cringed she knew Sam was struggling with that part of his new job and if the look on his face was any indicator then the negotiation had gone south.

"Solider back from Afghanistan, you think I be able to talk him down right?" said eyes darting up to meet hers through the windows reflection "But I couldn't" she pushed off the door way and started toward him

"Sam, that's not your faul-"

"I told him about Matt and what happened" he blurted out. She froze in place unable to move. His eyes filled with unshed tears as he continued on his voice shaking "and when I did I establish a connection and I thought I REALLY thought I had talked him down"

His voice broke and his eyes looked up into hers she was standing there in front of him rooted to her spot. She looked at him and in one swift move she pulled him up and into a hug instantly his arms flung around her and tears he swore he wouldn't cry came flooding out.

"It wasn't your fault "she whispered "Neither of their deaths were your fault"

* * *

He woke up the next morning to the sound of Jess in the kitchen making breakfast. He rolled over and checked the clock for the time 10:01_. _He had slept in pretty late but he wasn't surprised given the fact that he had been up to roughly about 3:30 in the morning tell Jess what exactly happened at the coliseum. Then to only struggle with sleep for another hour following that.

"Hey" he said entering the kitchen walking over to the island where she stood buttering a bagel.

"Hey," she smiled as she looked up from her bagel "feel free to help yourself to anything you would like, I don't have much, I haven't gone shopping lately"

"Bagels are fine with me" he said grabbing another one from the counter and popping it into the toaster.

"Cooking is way too much work plus I'd probably set your house on fire"

"Really all this time and you still haven't learned to cook" she shook her head smiling at him "Typical Braddock"

He smiled back at her, she didn't treat him any different because of last night, she didn't look at him like he was made of glass about to break, like he was weak, she treat him normally ,she treated him like _Sam. _Maybe that's why he came here last night, because he knows she will never judge, that she is there till the end for him. While that's all valid reason he knows it's not the only he came here last night he came because when he is with Jess, Matt doesn't feel so far away.

"So umm" He clears his throat "Thanks you know for last night I ugh, I need that" he says looking her in the eye her expression softens she smiles

"No problem, When you left JTF-2 told you I'd be here for you whenever you need me and I meant it"

He stares at her smiling there staring competition was broken when he his Cell phone starts to vibrate. He looks down at his phone siting on the counter top in between them he must have left it there last night, he quickly glances at the caller id and reads it, _Jules._ He wants to take it he really does, he wants to talk to her but he just can't he can face her right now plus he just fells awkward talking to her with Jess in the room. So instead he takes his phone and puts it in his pocket so the vibrations aren't so loud.

"You know she has been calling every 15 minutes for the past hour the least you could do is pick up the phone and let her know you're safe and not dead"

His eyes dart up faster than lighting to meet hers. _Did she really just tell him to call Jules?_ Jess had been the one to tell Sam that Jules and him both need space after everything so they could both heal and move on. Jess had been on tour when he and Jules were together and even though they only ever wrote letters back and forth she could tell he had been seeing someone because she knew him _that _well. He felt his heart rate speed up when he read the last line in one of her letters. **_Oh and Sam what her name? Because whoever she is I really want to meet her. –Jessica _** It didn't matter anyways because 2 weeks later Jules was shot and before he knew it they were done. Jess had returned home right after that, in fact she came with him to see the general because god knows what a soft spot the general has for her. And it was Jess who kept the peace when his father order him back into the Military and he told his father there was no way in hell he was going back, Jess had back Sam up somehow getting his dad to see the good side of the SRU, in fact Jess was probably the reason he was still the SRU and not In the middle east somewhere. Point was after the _fantastic _meal with his father he stepped out for a walk. She found him about an hour later sitting on a park bench by the lake it was there that she got him to divulge the story of him and Jules. Out of everything she could have said she simply turned to him and asked _"Do you resent her?" _

"She knows I'm not dead, plus this is Jules were talking about, she wouldn't get that worried" The bagel popped out of the toaster and he went to retrieve it

She sighed. He was impossible and explaining how he was wrong was going to drag up some painful memories but she be damned if she let Sam pass up a chance like this, a chance to get a friend back.

"Do you remember when Matt and I broke up?" she stated voice totally neutral. Sam froze and turned to face her, for her to bring Matt and their relationship was one thing but to bring up the break up….

"Yeah, how can I not" he replied not sure where she was going with this.

"Well then you remember us post break up and how we tried to go back to the way things were before we dated, telling each other everything, joking around, the whole 9 yards, and sure we did when all you guys were around but god the second you guys left and we were alone? We didn't talk about anything but work."

She took a shaky breath and continued on

"Then one day we were running an op and we did status updates and Matt stopped replying and none had eyes on him for 30 minutes and for those damn 30 minutes I thought he was gone" And her voice cracked "but then he finally replied.."

"Jess…" his tone was soft, Sam hated that she was doing this to herself, rehashing some painful memory just to prove some point to him.

"No Sam listen, for that god Damn 30 minutes I sat their thinking about how stupid I been, how I could have lost him and even after everything we been though, I couldn't just be there for him after the break up, I wasn't there when he need me after Joey died, I wasn't there for him at all for anything." She stared into his eyes for the first time since she started the story. "You and Jules, you're really no different, only you need her like Matt need me the only difference is_ she's_ reaching out,_ she's _doing what_ I_ couldn't because I was to fucking caught up in my own word and to busy resenting Matt to open my god dam eyes."

She started at him for what felt like forever but was really only a minute. When he finally broke eye contact

"Ok I will call her back" He stated

"Good" she said turning her attention back to her bagel

"But let's get one thing straight" he said pulling on her arm so she was face to face with him once more

"Matt_ never_ blamed you for not being there after Joey died, hell he felt guilty that he wasn't there for _you _after everything" he said looking Jess dead in the eye so she knew he wasn't lying Jess closed her eyes and smiled

"Sounds like Matt" she muttered. He laughed

"Yeah, Yeah it does," It was quiet for a minute as Sam debated if he should say anything but he thought of the pained look on Jess face when she talked about Matt and her break up and his choice was clear.

"You know that break up, letting you walk away,…Matt always said it was his biggest mistake"

"I know" came her soft reply

"I'm serious, He loved you"

"Me too Sam, you really think after all the shit we went through the first time, I would have agreed to go out with Matt again if I didn't think he really loved me?" she said laughing "If I didn't love _him_?"

"No guess not" he smiled. Just at that moment his phone started to go off again, He look down it was Jules.

"Umm I should take this," he said looking at Jess.

"Yeah you should" she said smiling Sam turned on his heels and picked up his phone

"Jules...Yeah I'm good…No, I spent the night at a friend's… yeah lunch sounds nice.." she heard Sam say as he walked down the hall. She had a feeling this wasn't the last time she was going to hear about Jules.


End file.
